The Kingmonkey Tails – Space Tilter ™

by Antikas

Plotting a course back into Unreg space, Antikas checked his weapon loadout and ammo one last time.

Quantar Core had been devoid of any Purgatories… something he liked to carry in case there was one too many Krak. El Sin’Alek had given him the heads up that Broly’s Inner Storm POS was stocking them.

“Ain’t ya worried about yer heart, Anti?” the old shuttle instructor frowned, thinking about all the wide-eyed young pilots difting back from the Outer Storm in their pods.

“My heart is fine,” the old scientist grumbled… thinking of all the recent incidents with kingmonkey. He could feel his ulcer begin to throb.

“Hey, that skinny monkey friend of yours was through here last week… he looked damn pale… like he ate something that didn’t agree with him… cursing something ‘bout Cherios(R).”

Not wanting to expand on the subject of his simian wingman’s ‘digestive issues’ Antikas stifled a laugh. kingmonkey had been pretty upset by Mordikar’s ribbing… skulking about the station and muttering to himself.

Making matters worse was their last series of artifact salvage operations. Ever since monkey had ‘borrowed’ his Lodestar and forgot the “Space Tilter ™” on board Antikas had dominated the retrieval scene.

Thinking of monkey’s red plastic lunchbox made him smile.

The “Space Tilter ™”. Monkey had drawn in the words with green plastic crayon. An industrial like switch jutted from one end, more green crayon labeling the ‘on’ and ‘off’ positions.

In his frustration, he had on several considered opening the “Space Tilter ™” just to find out what monkey kept inside. The artifact hunting scene was always totally skewed… over the course of an hour to the effect of monkey 8, Antikas 0. It was a relentless ordeal, proliferating his ulcer and deepening his space madness.

But the tables had turned. With the “Space Tilter ™” in his possession, artifacts rolled to his side of space where ever they hunted. Commander ShadowHart experienced the same phenomenon, having borrowed it from his storage locker during her Hyperial hunts. He couldn’t possibly explain the physics behind the device, but somehow it seemed to work.

F2 communications channel open.

ShadowHart: “Hi, Anti.”

“Hi, Shadow!”

ShadowHart: “I figured out the ‘Space Tilter ™’.”


Shadowhart: “It’s you.”

“Hahahahah me??”

ShadowHart: “You are the ‘Space Tilter ™’.”


ShadowHart: “StarCrest didn’t find anything… until you left… then he found two!”

Antikas muted the comm., wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. Was she serious?

ShadowHart: “The score was 8 to 0, Anti.”


That fit the ‘Space Tilter ™’ salvage pattern.

*a longer pause*

“I’m a temporal paradox…”

ShadowHart: “You are.”

“I KNEW IT!! It must have been from that incident with the anomaly!”

ShadowHart: “It MUST have… go get yourself checked out.”

” …”

“I have been feeling funny lately… I thought it was gas…”


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