(originally published on Warcry on 103.8.8)
Space has always been a cold, forbidding place, but recently it seems emptier than it once did. Perhaps it’s just nostalgia, but I though it appropriate to start this diary with a bit of reminiscence. In my years in space many friends and enemies have come and gone, and I find myself missing them all equally with each passing day. Perhaps some found a way back to a planetside life (there are rumors that the genetic alterations we go through can, in fact, be reversed) … I suspect a few have taken on new identities (I would swear the old barkeep in the Evening’s End Pub with the blaster-scarred face sounded like lxholla)… perhaps they somehow got suspended between matter and antimatter in a jumpdrive glitch … or perhaps their escape pod malfunctioned after being used one too many times.
Wherever they are, they still haunt my dreams and silent thoughts: Gossip, Lothar, Ekoostik, Rollio, RoyofCA, Ulysses, Glacius, Jujuman, Revenant, Brutus, CohenTB, BaadFood, SHUG, Fellblade, Ixholla, Venom, Luke … god there are so many. They were my enemies, my friends, my colleagues, my heroes … strangely part of me because of the space we shared. I apologize to all those I have not named. It’s not because you, too, do not share my thoughts, but because there are too many of you to list.
And the squads … miners and traders, factionalists, pirates and flux hunters all: Phoenix, The Dark Path, O.M.E.G.A., -DSA-, Nazgul, Eye of Roh, OV, UMEC, MaDji, The Gang, FRG, OEC. There were emotions connected to each of those squad names when I would see their tags in space: fear, safety, admiration, loathing. Nonetheless all leaving an empty space within me by their absence.
So this first Deepspace Diary is my small memorial to them and to their memories. They offered many flavors to our experience. Flavors which, when juxtaposed with one another, were like the contrasting and complementing flavors and textures of a fine meal (with a healthy dose of fine wine to boot!).
All memorials, however, tend to become lifeless and meaningless unless they have meaning and message for the future. So my challenge to myself and to all of you who reminisce about the “good old days” is to make a similar experience for those young pilots who join our ranks every day. For them, it will make their experience as TRI (or anti-TRI) pilots more rewarding. For you and for me, it will be an attempt to create immortality – so that someday they will mention US and our squads when they reminisce about the “good old days.”
May the current and future pilots and squads who challenge space every day be as good … as bad … as alive as the ghosts of the past.