The Kingmonkey Tails – The Epiphany

by Kingmonkey

monkey was kind of shocked, to say the least.

After the incident in Far Gate sector, monkey was on his way home in a pod. It was a long trip from Hyperial space all the way to the Quantar Core. The impact had shook loose something in monkey’s head; he still saw sparks and cartoon stars floating around his head. After about an hour or so, he realized these damned spots weren’t going away.

He looked closer at the spots and saw they were… swirling.

Something familiar about these thingies

They were indeed more than concussive hallucinations. They were tiny little Anomalies. All of a sudden, they all coalesced into one shining shape. The shape grew to fill the entire pod around monkey and even seemed to extend beyond into space. As the form became more solid, monkey could make out the shape of a human.

It was Hamalzah, himself, who appeared before monkey.

HAMALZAH:  “Little monkey, it is I, Hamalzah!”

KM:  Holy crap!

HAMALZAH:  “Okay, I’ll lessen the theatrics for your tiny mind to comprehend. There, is that better?”

All at once, he shrunk and took on mortal form, right there in kingmonkey’s eject pod. He stood resplendant in the finest of garments: a lime green pair of golf shorts, with a tan-plaid golf shirt. It appeared as though he had been interrupted on the green by this sudden appointment with the tiny simian. kingmonkey’s jaw was slack.

HAMALZAH:  “kingmonkey, I have a task for you. You have to get off your lazy ass and go seek the key.”

KM:  The key?

HAMALZAH:  “Why is it whenever I appear before you people, I always have to explain myself in small words? You have to go out and find the anomalies, unlock them.”

KM:  Okay! Umm… how do I unlock them?”

Hamalzah pulled at his chin as his frustration grew.

HAMALZAH:  “I do have better things I could be doing, you know. Just go out and scan the anomalies, at least fifty of them.”


HAMALZAH:  “Yes, fifty. If not more.”

KM:  Now I don’t mean to question your divine wisdom, o mighty Hamalzah…

HAMALZAH:  “Call me Hammy.”

KM:  Uuuuh… o mighty Hammy. So once I’ve got all the info from these scans, what do I do?

HAMALZAH:  “Well, you’ll take it to TRI Research, won’t you? They will know what to do with the knowledge you shall retrieve.”

KM:  And if they don’t?

“Just do it monkey.”

kingmonkey thought this over for a bit. Finally an idea came to his head. The very thought of the thought caused him to blush, and his heart to race.

KM:  O mighty Hammy, now if… when I get this done for you, could I ask one thing?

HAMALZAH:  “Sure, I’m easy. Shoot.”

KM:  When I deliver this stuff to TRI-R… could I get a kiss from Dr. Holly?

HAMALZAH:  “Doctor Q’son? Sure, I don’t see why not.”

KM:  I’m your monkey Hammy

Without a further word, Hamalzah faded slowly into an ethereal mist and seeped out into space. Once again he grew to titanic proportions. He adjusted himself and drew a 9 iron from an unseen hole in space. He drew back and swung, hitting kingmonkey’s pod, hurtling it through space towards the Quantar Core.



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